Being turned on by spanking or being spanked is a very common fetish. If you are the spanker, what could be hotter than a pair of quivering buttocks across your lap, waiting to be reddened by the slap of your palm or paddle? And the person getting spanked lies there in delicious anticipation, trusting their partner to administer just the right amount of pain to bring about explosive sex. Spanking can also be a great warm-up for intercourse, as it gets the nerves tingling and blood rushing to the genital area. Some people prefer to use their hands, other couples like to use toys.

Negotiate Sex Spanking

As with any other new sexual practice, a bit of advance conversation will make it go much better. Let your partner know that it is your fantasy to spank or be spanked and ask if he or she is willing to give it a try. Is it specific—a certain instrument, with panties or underwear on, pulled-down pants or lifted skirt, across a lap, in restraints, fantasy scenarios such as naughty student, caught in the act, in the harem, costumes, etc.?

Practicalities of Sex Spanking

Have a safe word agreed on in advance. This is a word you are unlikely to say during sex play that lets your partner know that you have reached your limit and need a break. Your partner should then immediately stop the spanking.

Marks or no marks? Is bruising and redness okay, or will it be a problem?

Physical comfort—you want the fun, sexy pain, not aching knees or wrists!

Spanking Considerations

If you keep the following points in mind, the experience will be more pleasurable for both of you:

• Keep to the buttocks. They are the safe zone, where pain soon translates into a sexual sting. Striking the tail bone, the lower back (where the kidneys are), and the backs of the knees can cause serious physical damage.
• Warm up by massaging the buttocks and the area around them. This relaxes the partner to be spanked and will make the experience more pleasurable.
• Start with lighter blows and deepen the pressure as your partner gets more into being spanked. Experiment with rhythm and pressure.

Spanking Toys

The instrument used to spank with can range from the hand, to things around the home (wooden spoons, slippers, hair brushes, belts) to specialty fetish sex toys. These are primarily paddles, in both wood and leather, and whips, from dainty little multi-tasselled teasers to the quirts that were once used on horses.