Is it Save to Have Sex during Pregnancy?
Sex is considered safe at all stages of pregnancy as long as you are having a NORMAL pregnancy. This means that you are at low risk for complications like pre-term labour or miscarriage. Ask your doctor, midwife, or doula if you are unsure about the state of your pregnancy.
Does the Penis Touch the Baby during Intercourse?
Your baby is protected by the amniotic sac, which is not breached during sex. A thick mucous plug at the top of the cervix also helps to protect the baby. So, during sex, the penis never touches the baby.
When Should I stop Having Sex during Pregnancy?
If you have a normal pregnancy, some doctors recommend stopping penetrative sex in the last few weeks, as sperm has a chemical in it that can cause contractions that may induce labor at this late stage—there isn’t much proof to back this theory up, but it doesn’t hurt to err on the side of caution.
Can an Orgasm Induce Labor?
The contractions from an orgasm and the contractions of labor are not the same. You need only be concerned if you are at risk of complications. So, if you have a normal pregnancy, enjoy all the orgasms you want. Noted sex writer Suzie Bright actually used a vibrator during the birth of her first child and claims to have experienced an orgasm like no other!
Unsafe Sex Practices when Pregnant
- If you are having oral sex, your partner should not blow air into your pussy as this can cause an air embolism, potentially fatal for the child or mother. But licking and fingering is just fine.
- If your partner has any STDs such as herpes, HIV, Hepatitis, Chlamydia, or genital warts these can be transmitted to the baby leading to all sorts of complications.
I’m Pregnant and Horny all the Time
Enjoy! This is normal for many women. The freedom from the need to use birth control can be an aphrodisiac. Sex hormones are fluctuating and you feel sexy so take advantage of it now, before feeding schedules and fatigue take away opportunity and sex-drive.
I’m Pregnant and I’ve Lost Interest in Sex
Hormones affect women differently. Some women go into sexual hyper drive, some women lose their interest in sex. Many women feel uncomfortable with their changing body shapes, which can all affect desire levels. Later in the pregnancy, concerns about the upcoming birth can also dampen desire.
Good Sex Positions for Pregnancy
Many experts suggest that after 4 months, a mom-to-be should not spend long periods of time on her back or on her right side. Also, it’s probably not a good idea to have your partner’s weight on your belly, especially during later pregnancy. Adjust your sex positions accordingly. You will find that pillows and laughter will also come in handy during pregnancy sex.
Doggy Style—this allows for some G-Spot and clitoral stimulation and keeps pressure off the belly. Women who are feeling self-conscious about shape changes also like this position as their back view isn’t as changed. But, hey, we encourage you to be belly proud!
Spooning Style—make sure you lie on your LEFT side for this position. You may want to throw a few pillows under your raised leg to facilitate your partner penetrating you from behind. There are lots of opportunities for clitoral stimulation in this position, too.
On Top—this allows you to be in control of both the angle of insertion and the depth.
Experiment with any other positions you can think of, but remember to stay off your right side, not to put too much weight or pressure on the belly, and don’t lie on your back for more than a few minutes.
Using Sex Toys during Pregnancy
If you normally use sex toys, go right on ahead! Just make extra sure that they have been cleaned properly. And it is even less of a good idea to move sex toys (or penises) from the anal area into the vagina when you are pregnant, as you risk infecting your baby—and not just yourself.
Breastfeeding and Sex
Some new moms (and dads) may not see the breasts as fair sexual game during breastfeeding. These moms may want to throw on a ‘sexy’ bra—if it’s dark and a bit padded it can also absorb any milk leaks! Others may find breastfeeding their partners very exciting. Still others may feel very little difference in their attitudes. One thing to keep in mind is that the breasts are tenderer, so sex play might need to be gentler than in the past.
The hormone associated with orgasms is also associated with milk-letdown (a quick flow of milk) so you may want to keep a towel or breast pump close at hand, or be prepared to feed your baby fairly soon after your orgasm.
Sex Soon After Pregnancy
Cunnilingus—pussy licking or eating out—is NOT okay. This is because of mouth to vagina infection in the case of a healing vagina AND the real and dangerous possibility of vaginal air embolisms that can be fatal if the partner giving head blows air into the vagina—this can happen accidentally. Check with your doctor or midwife as to when it will be okay to get licked again.
Because giving birth does put your vagina through a serious workout, especially if you had stitches, most doctors advise waiting for six weeks after giving birth before you start penetrative sex. In the meantime, hand stimulation and external toy use are just fine, as long as you pay attention to hygiene. Usually, you’ll want to have had your post-natal checkup before engaging in vaginal sex and gotten the medical thumbs-up before resuming intercourse.
The first time you have vaginal sex after giving birth, you may want to take the top position so that you can control depth and force to allow for the fact that you may be feeling a little delicate.
Sex Problems after giving Birth
There are a couple of common problems that crop up for couples, especially when it is their first baby:
- Fatigue—mom is exhausted from giving birth, feeding schedules, lack of sleep and all the extra work of looking after a whole new life. It’s hard to feel sexy when all you crave is eight hours of sleep.
- Hormones—it can take a while for hormones to level out and these can affect the levels of female desire.
- Post-natal Depression—people, men or women, don’t feel very sexy when they are depressed. Postnatal depression is serious and should be quickly addressed with professional help.
- Male Jealousy—while mom is busy bonding with her baby, her partner is often a very minimal part of the picture. He knows that it isn’t fair to want more attention than he’s getting and his logical mind knows that mom is exhausted and not horny, but his penis doesn’t care. After a few rebuffs, resentment can kick in. Communicate, seek counseling if necessary, and remind yourself that you’ll both start surfacing again at the six month mark.
- Different Perceptions—either or both partners may identify the mom’s body as being there to look after the baby, and not to enjoy sexually. This can be a tough one. Get professional help if you can’t get past this.
- Schedules—Finding time to enjoy sex can be almost impossible. You may need to modify your sex practices. Some couples find success with one partner masturbating first and then getting their mate to help bring them to orgasm with toys, mouth, or fingers. Try and remember all the quick, furtive sex you had when you were younger and channel that horny energy.
- Consider booking a trusted baby-sitter for 2-3 hours (which is as long as many newer mothers will be comfortable in leaving their baby for) and checking in to a motel to get naughty. It’s worth the money even if you don’t really feel like it. Keeping sexual intimacy alive negates a lot of the problems that couples can experience after having a baby.
Solving New Parents’ Sex Problems
It’s important to talk about the problems you are having, as long as you can both do it calmly. Yes, the birth of your baby may lead to a sex drought, but if you are still having problems at the six month mark, it can have a serious impact on the long-term health of your marriage. If the two of you can’t resolve the problem together, then go ahead and get help, even if one of you is skeptical about therapy. Good sex is worth fighting for—it’s part of the deeper intimacy and success of your long-term relationship.