Strap-On Basics

Strapping-on can be a turn-on for both partners. A woman may find it hot, visually, to get her “cock” sucked before penetrating her partner. Before strapping on, make sure you discuss with your partner what kind of dildo sizes he or she will be comfortable with. If there is any doubt, err on the small side. A painful first experience could be the end of your partner’s willingness to experiment with strap-on play.

When you are using a strap-on, remember that you won’t have the same sensitivity that your fingers or mouth give you, so use lots of lube and start off gentle.

If you are switching roles, be sure to clean the harness and dildo properly before a new partner straps on. As with all sex toys, don’t go between vagina/mouth/anus without a thorough cleaning or putting on a fresh condom for each orifice switch. Bacteria that live happily in the anus or mouth can cause trouble in the vagina.

Picking a Dildo for Strap-On Use

There are four main things to consider when choosing a dildo for harness use:

  • The base – it should be flared widely enough that it can be held firmly in place by the harness’s ring.
  • Firmness – the dildo should be firm enough that it won’t slip out of the harness or be torn by the pressure. (But rigid materials like glass, metal, and acrylics are not recommended—if you can afford it, silicone is best).
  • Length– for harness use, you’ll want a dildo that is 5 inches or longer, unless it’s intended for anal play.
  • Thickness – make sure that your dildo isn’t too wide to fit through your harness’s ring.

Picking a Harness for Strap-On Use

The ideal harness holds your dildo firmly in place and stays there during vigorous activity. For this, look for sturdier materials, metal ‘O’ rings, and adjustable straps on ‘D’ rings. Velcro can also be great, but make sure there is enough Velcro on the strapping to prevent it from coming apart at a critical moment! A good adjustable harness can accommodate many different body shapes and sizes.